I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
