she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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