The maid of honor just puked.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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