You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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