Who did Billy Mays play for?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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