no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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