Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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