NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
