Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
