I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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