Its about making memories worth repressing
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
