i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
