I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
