I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
