Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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