I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
