If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
