He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My pussy is not your playground.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
