Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
