You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
