Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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