But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
