he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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