That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
