No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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