You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
