1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
whose ass print is on the piano?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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