Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
