It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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