Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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