noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
