i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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