My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
