and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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