so explain again why im purple
no
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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