after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
