She is in my trunk
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
