I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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