She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
