butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
