let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize