: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
There's always time for handjobs
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize