Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Randomize