HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
