i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize