feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
