But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
