I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
