Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
