I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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