He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
