This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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