We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
