I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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