i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
