Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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