I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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