i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize