Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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