one might say we're banned from that church
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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