Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
