I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
