We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
