allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
