I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize