i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
