Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
