so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
