just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
