Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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