either way he was missing a nipple.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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