I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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