planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
