hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
