Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
